What if the shortest month of the year turned out to be the one where you made the biggest shift? Inside our Facebook group: “Intimate Feminine Portraiture by Janioris” we hosted a 28 day challenge to boost our confidence. I made suggestions for practices that will inevitably help boost your self esteem and confidence as a woman. I didn’t want you to miss it! So whether you are following along in February or want to boost your confidence any other month of the year, here is a list to get you going!
Day 1: Write a list of who you are without your titles. Today is all about remembering who you are without talking about what you do. Share a brief list in the comments to give another woman ideas! It may have been a while since she considers her own qualities.
Day 2: Do a workout that is brief but intentional. My workouts are a bit limited these days with my knee injury but moving your body is a proven way to improve your confidence and self esteem. Working out releases physical and mental tension, increases libido and improves heart health. Whether you workout for 5 minutes or an hour, get those feel-good hormones going in your body as you take good care of you!
Day 3: Wear a bold lip color: My vote is always red but especially today on National Wear Red Day! February is Heart month but not just because of Valentine’s Day we wear red today because heart disease is the leading cause of death in women and it’s an opportunity to raise awareness about risk factors, prevalence, and prevention. “Wearing red is an occasion in itself. A red dress can make even a shy demure girl feel like a powerful femme fatale.”-Shilpa Ahuja. Leave your pouty selfie in the comments!
Day 4: Focus on your posture: Your posture reveals so much about your confidence and ultimately helps your blood and oxygen flow and prevents long-term effects on your body. Here are some tips: 1. Make eye contact and smile! 2. Stand straight and tall with your shoulders back. 3. Keep your head level and in line with your body. 4. Keep your feet shoulder-width apart. 5. Don’t lock your knees. 6. Bear your weight primarily on the balls of your feet. 7.Let your hands hang naturally at your sides.
Day 5: Go to bed at a reasonable time. You may be thinking to yourself, “how is sleep related to confidence?!” But when your mind is tired, you tend to elaborate more unsubstantiated thoughts about yourself and others causing low self esteem and unnecessary conflict. Plus overall exhaustion depletes your capacity to take on projects and face the world with confidence. Sleeping at a reasonable time means you have prioritized yourself and your rest even in the face of a growing to do list. It means that you have healthy boundaries in place so that your every day tasks do not overwhelm you. Rest is also responsible for more rejuvenated skin and can ultimately affect your posture and your energy to put your best foot forward!
Day 6: Set a small goal that can be achieved this week. I’m feeling super sick this week so I’ll be taking advantage of the downtime and lots of bed ridden time to read a book! I am halfway through it so my goal this week is to finish it. What small achievable goal can you set and accomplish this week? Setting goals that are realistic and achievable in a short period of time boosts your confidence because it enables you to feel that other more lofty goals are also achievable in longer stretches of time.
Day 7: Wear pretty earrings. Accessorizing can boost your mood and overall confidence, particularly if the piece is sentimental, significant or compliments your personality. Earrings in particular frame your face and can make even a simple outfit make a statement. Plus it’s an easy way to strike up conversation with another woman (I love to start with compliments!) I love big earrings so they’re visible through my curly mane. Quick plug here for my sweet friend Daniela who creates beautiful polymer clay earrings over at Bella’s Creations! Check her out on Instagram @bellas_creations._
Day 8: Make a hair appointment: You know how the saying goes; “when a woman changes her hair, she’s about to change her life.” Changing your life doesn’t always have to mean you’re entering a new stage of life. You can have the confidence that comes with having fresh new hair at any given time! I know for me, changing my hair can be therapeutic. I can’t always control all the circumstances around me but I can change my hair! And in some ways that gives me a grounded feeling. New hairstyles can result in new outlooks and that can be healing. Cut your dead ends for growth, and that doesn’t just mean your hair. My dear friend Leicha at The Maverick Studio is responsible for this color and blowout! The lady behind my healthy curls is my dear friend Jarely Jones at Faith In Curls! Make a hair appointment today and watch the anticipation alone give you a confidence boost!
Day 9: Put yourself “out there”: Fewer things boost your confidence more than putting yourself out there, and realizing that all the negative catastrophes you played out in your mind were just mental blocks you placed on yourself that kept you from meeting incredible people, having amazing experiences, or stepping into roles you’ve always wanted to play. So whether it’s setting up a coffee with a new friend, making a business connection, or initiating intimate time with your spouse, it’s time to put yourself out there. It will always be better than you imagined! Today I: Texted my neighbor to go for a walk, Scheduled a play date for next week with a new mama, And had an amazing time at W.I.L.D Women’s Self Love Networking Event at Unique Diamond Spa.
Day 10: Keep visual reminders of special memories/achievements: You can try printing pictures out of your phone memories or keeping a “Me-Wall” with some momentos of your achievements and experiences. Seeing visual reminders of the most meaningful moments of your life have an amazing effect on your confidence to continue to live out dreams and purposes for your life.
Day 11: Unfollow one person or page that drains your energy or makes you feel self doubt. I battled with this one. For a long time I contended that if someone makes me feel something negative indirectly by virtue of living their personal lives, that is something I need to work on *myself*. Because the problem is then internal and not related to having them in my life. And that feeling would return with someone else. I still believe that. But I have also come to believe that if something is a continuous stumbling block to your growth, you should remove it. If you find yourself constantly comparing your life to a specific person, re-living old wounds when seeing someone’s posts or triggering emotional spirals when seeing a page’s content, you should protect your mental health and give yourself an opportunity to heal by unfollowing that person/page. Whether you follow them again in the future or not, commit to using the distance to address any internal dialogue issues in yourself. That space is where the confidence will come from.
Day 12: Dance: Whether it’s a sultry dance all alone in the dark or a silly dance with a giggly partner like me, dancing improves your confidence because it releases you from the pressure of what you should look like and gets you to just feel and have fun! Plus it minimizes stress and increases your energy. It’s not too late to have a living room dance party tonight!
Day 13: Get a massage or facial: My Galentines treat to myself was a massage this afternoon. Among other benefits reported by the Mayo Clinic, massages can help reduce stress and increase relaxation. They reduce pain and muscle soreness and tension. And one of my favorites for confidence is that they improve circulation, energy and alertness. A facial can also help you put your best ”face” forward! Taking care of your physical needs affects everything! Be sure to check out Keren Madriz at Unique Diamond Spa in Lake Mary. I met her this past week and she’s a sweetheart!
Day 14: Wear lingerie under your day’s outfit: It’s a hidden boost of confidence to have fine materials up against your skin underneath your mom fit, your scrubs, your suit, your hoodie…you name it! Lingerie isn’t always a “babydoll”. It can also be a matching set of bra and underwear or a bodysuit. There are several design elements that make regular undergarments feel like lingerie. These include: lace, cutouts, mesh, sheer panels, dangling charms, straps, satin or velvet. The possibilities are endless. Plus you’re already ready for some fun!
Day 15: Build a supportive community: When you forget how beautiful and capable you are (and we all do sometimes) having a couple of friends, colleagues and family members in your corner to remind you is a powerful tool to build your confidence. Building positive relationships means giving to others as much or more than you receive too. Find your tribe and build your village! (Thank you for being a part of mine!)
Day 16: Shave/wax/sugar unwanted body hair: How much hair, from where, and how is completely up to you! But removing unwanted body hair can instantly make you feel sexier, lifting any self conscious feelings that keep you from wearing what you love in or out of the bedroom and interacting intimately with confidence. I have done a ton of laser hair removal which I have loved! And I’m about to try sugaring on my legs soon which I’m excited for. What is your favorite hair removal method?
Day 17: Assertively say “no”: It takes a lot of confidence for women (in general) to say “no” with certainty. Even if we have no bandwidth in our schedule or our emotions, we tend to want to please others. After we say “no”, we often search around for approval from others as to whether or not that was the correct decision to make and whether we should change our minds. So practice making a firm decision and saying “no” with kindness and love without feeling the need to over-explain. It is better to feel the guilt than to feel the resentment for violating your own limitations.
Day 18: Practice affirming yourself. It is no secret that our self-talk is pivotal to how we act and what we believe. Oftentimes, our inner dialogue is toxic to our own success and emotional wellbeing. You will teach others how they should treat you by how you treat yourself. That starts with how you talk to yourself! You will know how to differentiate between truth and lies that are said to you or about you if you are the first to repeat the truth about your own character and identity. Compliment your own qualities and give yourself some credit. Remember: “It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”
Day 19: Laugh at yourself! Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes, forgetfulness or daily hiccups, remember to laugh. The ability to tread lightly on your heart when you have erred is a gift of someone that is confident and doesn’t take themselves too seriously. When you’ve made a major mistake, simply objectively look at practical changes you can make to avoid the same mistake in the future instead of ruminating on your shortcomings.
Day 20: Pace yourself when you speak. If you reflect on the most confident people you have heard speak, you will notice a trend. They speak slowly. Pacing yourself when you speak allows you time to consider your words thoughtfully. It also subconsciously communicates to others that you are in authority, are knowledgable and worth listening to. It also allows you to have a firm grip on your emotions when communicating to others. You don’t have to drag your words, but simply don’t rush to get your thoughts across.
Day 21: Try something new: Whether it’s as small as ordering something new instead of your usual at a restaurant or skydiving. Trying something new builds your confidence to take risks, trust your decision making and have rich experiences!
Day 22: Paint your Nails or get them done! Or in my case, press them on! No shame in my game. These are my Valentine nails and then I was back to mama nails lol but today I painted those too! If you’re like most women that talk with their hands, painting your nails gives you finesse when it comes to expressing yourself. Having manicured nails in any style that you love helps your confidence.
Day 23: Read the Bible: Nothing has made me more confident than reading and knowing who God is and who He says I am in light of that. To know about my identity in Christ, His plan for my life, the hope for the future, His grace, His forgiveness, and all of His many promises gives me complete confidence—even in the face of fears and doubts. If you need help on where to start, what to look for or how to get a Bible, I am here to help!
Day 24: Eat a healthy meal: When you nourish your body with nutrient-packed foods you feel more energized, mentally and physically strong and ultimately feel confident in your self. Healthy food can be very delicious and making better choices about what you consume makes you feel better about your decision-making ability and your self-image. Your beautiful body deserves to be treated with care in order to support your daily activities.
Day 25: Take care of your health: Whether it’s your periodic mammogram, taking your vitamins or listening to your body’s needs when it’s asking for a specialist’s opinion, being a good steward of your physical body will give you confidence. You can be confident that you’re doing your best to be around for your loved ones for longer. And there’s nothing like the confidence of taking care of the body that allows you to have adventures, be in relationships and experience a full life.
Day 26: Practice gratitude: Did you know that when you are actively grateful, you are essentially re-wiring your brain to be a happy person? It’s true! The repetition of intentional expressions of gratitude creates neuro-pathways in your brain that can boost the production of serotonin and prompt the production of dopamine. Studies show changes in mood and mental health whether gratitude practices are shared or kept to yourself. Practice writing a list of specific things or people you are grateful for and notice the difference!
Day 27: Be disciplined: When you practice discipline consistently, the effects ripple into every part of your life. Discipline results in the confidence that you won’t be swayed and frayed by every wind of circumstance or emotion that sweeps into your life. It’s the confidence that you know what you want to achieve and who you want to be and your character will be stronger than the temptation. Discipline looks like sticking to your decisions without asking for permission or without needing to meet everyone else’s expectations or desires.
Day 28: Book a Boudoir Shoot! I have always said that this luxe experience boosts your confidence in your femininity. As women become more confident with their femininity, they’re able to foster better relationships, especially those which require vulnerable intimacy. But don’t take it from me! Maria said: “This was an amazing and empowering experience for me. Janioris made me feel like I could take on the world!!!!! We all have self doubt and insecurities, and with this experience I seen my beauty inside and out! My strength as well. I was probably the most shy doing this I have EVER been in my life! Took me to a new level of confidence.” If you’re ready to get to a new level of confidence, CLICK HERE.
